When parents disagree on how to care for their child, is it justifiable to take extreme measures?
Emily and Paul have a glorious home, money in the bank and two beautiful children. Since leaving Scotland for Paul to play football for an Australian team they have been blessed. But sadness lies behind the picture-perfect family - sixteen-year-old Cameron has battled with health troubles his entire life. There's no name for what he has, but his disruptive behaviour, OCD and difficulty in social situations is a constant source of worry.
When Paul's career comes to a shuddering halt, he descends into a spiral of addiction, gambling away the family's future. By the time he seeks help, it's his new boss Damien who recommends and pays for a rehab facility.
While Paul is away, Emily has to make a tough decision about their son. She keeps it from Paul knowing he'll disapprove. And when a terrible accident reveals the truth, Paul takes his son and goes on the run, leaving Emily to care for fourteen-year-old Tilly, who unbeknown to her parents is fighting battles of her own.
Can the family join together for the sake of their loved ones, or will their troubles tear them apart?
I'd always imagined a close relashionship with Cameron too.I pictured us going to matches together,and spending weekends cheering for him and his mates on the field,just like my dad used to do with me.Dad was always proudest of me when I was on the pitch; he knew that football was the thing that would lift me into a world wider than the home town that he'd never left.I don't remember talking about anything else with dad but how the Dons - the Aberdeen football team - were faring,or my own game.We were closest when we were singing the team songs with thousands of soaring voices in the stands at Pittodrie pitch. But Cameron wasn't like me; I had to edit that image of our relationship pretty quickly; I'm not sure Emily has ever adjusted.Maybe it wasn't Cameron.Maybe Emily would have struggled regardless of which baby came first. We hadn't planned for her to get pregnant so young.We had only been in Australia a couple of years,we had not long married,and were living a brilliant life full of parties and travel.When she became a mother,it was hard for her to adapt to not being able to do everything that she wanted to,as she tried to cling onto the threads of our life before kids.When she was pregnant,we'd sworn that our children would come with us wherever we went,do what we did,learn to love travel and eat out.But once Cameron was born,and then Tilly,we realised that was impossible.Those threads of our previous life snapped and instead she became knotted up with a toddler and a baby.I know it was Emily who was tied most tightly to them; it was my role to support her and the children,and I took it seriously.
When the kids were little,I was playing all the time.Emily would tell me I worked too much and that she wished she could come with me when I travelled or went out on a function.I honestly would have rather stayed at time than go out and make small talk with strangers,but I had to go.I know it seems glamorous,but every awards dinner is the same; the same people,the same meals,same wine.It was just work,she didn't believe me.And,as I started to take longer to recover from injuries,I used to float around the function room with that familiar cloud of anxiety building up around me,aware that when the wind changed,I'd be forgotten like all the others who had been dropped back into real life before me.Retirement was inevitable.I had to work harder at networking than I ever did at football; that was my future.
I tried to spend as much time as I could with Cameron.When I was home,he and I kicked the ball to each other over and over in the back yard,scoring goals between the jacaranda tree and the trampoline.When he was five,I signed him up for kids soccer.I couldn't wait for Sunday mornings down at the Oval.
But I missed the first day.I was away in Adelaide.
Emily was stressed about taking him before they even got there,which could have stressed him out too.Sure enough,about half an hour after the session started,while i was at the airport for a flight home,she called me.I picked up straight away.
Emily didn't even say hello."It was a disaster."
I groaned."What?Why?"
"You didn't tell me I had to actually take part! You should have seen me - I had Tilly with me in one arm,while I'm trying to kick the ball to him,and he was crying because I couldn't kick it straight,and Tilly was crying because she was being jostled around and all the kids were yelling.You should have warned me!"
"I didn't know! I've never been either!"
"I thought the coaches taught them.He didn't want to do it,as soon as they did some game where they had to line up and kick at the goals,he lost it." I could hear the anger in her voice.
"Lost it? How?"
"You know,the way he always loses it? He started to cry,then got worse when I tried to calm him down,so I had to pick him up in one arm and drag him away while he punched me."
" It was his first time,Emily,I'm sure he wasn't the only one who was a bit worried.weren't any of his friends there?"
"All the other dads were there,Paul.You should have seen.me,in my sandals with two kids having meltdowns.I didn't even know how to kick the bloody ball.Eventually some other dad took pity on me and tried to look after Cameron as well as his own kid."
I stayed silent."I'll be there next week."
This was meant to be your thing with him.I felt like an idiot."
"I'm sure Cammie felt worse."
Silence.Then,"I can't do this on my own."
"It's my job," I said,keeping my voice even.
And that was how it was,little jabs at me for not being there,for not doing what dads were meant to do.Jesus,when I was growing up my mum and dad both had to work,and when mum wasn't working,she was looking after us.My kids wanted - want - for nothing. They have their Mother full time.They have never had to go to childcare.They go to a great school where they learn languages and music and they are taught PE by an ex - Olympian. They go to parties in cinemas and trampoline centres and science centres,they go out for smoothies and sushi and yum cha,they download movies instantly at home.One day in their life is like the best day ever for me when I was growing up.
What I really wanted to say to Emily when she complained about me being away was,I'll just stop working then,will I? Give up my career to make sure that both his mother and father see every little thing that he does and praise him whether he won or lost? Then not only would we have to move to a new house,and a state school,but he'd have to quit the bloody soccer because it all costs money.
But I didn't say that.
"I'm sorry,"I said,"I wish I had been there to help you."
And now my playing career is over,I would be here to help her. But still fear lingered; had I left it too late to try and slot back into my family? What if I'd listened to Emily back then,said no sometimes to work,put my family first like she wanted me to? Would Cameron be different? Perhaps if we'd had less,life would have been simpler for all of us.
AUTHOR BIO
Dr Dawn Barker is a psychiatrist and author. She grew up in Scotland, then in 2001 she moved to Australia, completed her psychiatric training and began writing.
Her first novel, Fractured, was selected for the 2010 Hachette/Queensland Writers Centre manuscript development programme, was one of Australia's bestselling debut fiction titles for 2013, and was shortlisted for the 2014 WA Premier's Book Awards.
Her second novel is Let Her Go.
Dawn lives in Perth with her husband and three young children.
Social Media
https://mobile.twitter.com/drdawnbarker
PUBLICATION DATE : 21st May 2018
PUBLISHER : Canelo
GENRE : Woman's Fiction
PURCHASE HERE....
https://mobile.twitter.com/drdawnbarker
Oh! my goodness - this makes my family look almost normal in the scheme of things :)
ReplyDeleteSo many secrets and relationship problems, just can't be good for any kind of stable family life.
As a psychiatrist, this makes Dawn another of the growing group of authors who write storylines around a subject they are familiar with, which for me, then often shines through in the quality of the narrative and dialogue.
Another one heading for my vastly excessive TBR pile.
Thanks for the feature and enjoy the rest of your weekend :)
Yvonne
xx