BOOK SYNOPSIS
Life According to Brian chronicles forty-four stories of mishap and misadventure of a scale unparalleled in modern man. Disguised in comedy to protect the seriously guilty, the story follows Brian’s escapades traversing the world and captures not only the lunacy of life but the luck involved in avoiding one’s own death.
The guidebook for the mentally impaired includes: poaching, drugs, imprisonment, kidnapping, poisonings, alien hunters, crocodile suicide and much, much more…
The sorry episodes are being played out via a game of chess. God and Charles Darwin, seeking to save mankind, are plotting Brian’s untimely demise. The winner of each play gets to choose the method of death. Constantly interrupted by visiting deities, kings, queens and E.T., the two main players are frustrated in their attempts to have some peace and play the game, with a nice cup of tea and some Mr Kipling cake.
Send the kids away, euthanise the cat, find a comfy chair, pour a pint of the finest whisky…have a reliable psychiatrist on speed dial.
Come inside and enjoy the ride…
It's basically a journal or a diary that recounts the misadventures of Brian and his motley group of friends,plus the various colourful individuals that they met on their travels to different places around the globe. There's drinking (lots of drinking) multiple hangovers (the pain always being on a higher scale than the previous one) numerous phone calls to Brian's dad Tony about his out of control behaviour. A act that was totally pointless because Brian's mum and dad were just as bad as he was. There was fishing in Queensland, hunting aliens in the outback, Lebanese lasagne with a secret ingredient of Lebanese hashish, a unfortunate incident with a dog bone, Brian and his friend Mark even managed to get kidnapped in Morocco. And that's just a small selection of the various,sticky situations that they found themselves caught up in. Brian's friends were a mixed bag of vivid characters who each had their own unique personalities and character traits and the characters that they encountered on their travels were a eclectic blend of realistic individuals. I wouldn't say that Brian was a unlikable individual, he was a fantastic character, his inner ruminations were hilarious and he had a wicked sense of humour. But he also had a very high opinion of himself and his place on this spinning globe that we came home. Brian just dismissed all the situations that he found himself in and never hesitated or paused to think before he moved on to his next adventure. All the incidents could have been just down to bad luck or coincidence....but
unbeknownst to our clueless victim (cough,sorry hero) up in their kingdom in the clouds, God, Charles Darwin and various other figures from history and mythology including Odin and the one and only Loki (but no Thor unfortunately which i wasn't very happy about) had been manipulating Brian's movements via a chess game. Their aim had been to kill their hapless victim off so God could win a award. Over cups of tea and Mr Kipling cakes, they plotted, schemed and moved their various pieces around the board but with the unpredictable God of mischief hanging around the corridors , who knew what was going to happen and what the outcome of the game was going to be.
I absolutely bloody loved this incredible book, it's extremely well written and very very funny but the story also has its serious moments. I really really enjoyed this journey through the misadventures of Brian Dawes and his friends and would love to read a sequel. Very very highly recommended and definitely going to be one of my favourite reads of this year. If you want to discover for yourself how brilliant this book is then I suggest you get your hands on a copy and find out.
AUTHOR BIO
B. M. Dawes was born in Perth, Australia, in 1971, where he first discovered his fear of venomous snakes. This legitimate threat to life would then follow Brian to Zambia from the age of three to six. Escaping not only the marauding bandits and numerous attempts by his loving sister to shorten his already young years, Brian would then flee to Bahrain where he would misadventure throughout his teens. He attended university in Queensland, Australia, where he learnt his trade as a professional drinker and erred on the side of erring. He currently lives in Edinburgh, Scotland, with his long-suffering partner and two loving children, who have a pending life policy on their benevolent dad.
PUBLICATION DATE: 31st March 2021
PURCHASE LINK.....
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-According-Brian-B-Dawes-ebook/dp/B08Y7C8TSP/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Life+according+to+brian&qid=1631129232&s=books&sr=1-1
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